At the start of the year, while Nigerians collectively accepted the slogan “No gree for anybody”, I decided my mantra for 2024 would be “ You have not because you ask not”.

I was going to do the things I have always wanted to do personally and professionally. Even if it meant moving away from my comfort zone, I would reach out to certain people and ask them what I needed and be comfortable with whatever response I got. In hindsight, I have always been one who was never afraid to ask when I needed something, especially from God. This year, however, I chose to be conscious of it.

As I take account of the things I have accomplished since the year began, I realise that there is power in asking. “You have not because you ask not” means that if you don’t ask, chances are, you’d never get it. It is about speaking up and being assertive. To reach your goals at work or in life, you sometimes have to ask for what you want.

The outcomes

When it comes to requesting something from someone, there are three potential outcomes to consider:

1. You might get a “yes”

Years back, when I decided I was going to transition to customer experience, I approached the office of the then Director of Customer Experience and presented a plan outlining how my skills could benefit the business if I were granted the role. The result? I received an instant YES, and she contacted the HR manager to arrange for my transition into the new position the following month. In recent times, I have submitted business proposals to executives, presented strategies at work and sent requests to colleagues and professionals in my network. A number of the responses have been positive, further fueling my urge to ask without fear.

2. You might  get a “No”

Often, we hesitate to ask because we’re afraid of hearing “No” as an answer. When we hear “No” repeatedly, whether in conversations or emails, it can make us feel like giving up. It could cause people to settle for lesser-paying jobs or stop reaching out to potential mentors, investors or employers. However, I like to view the word “NO” as “Not Over”;  so, Instead of seeing it as a rejection, I see it as a redirection of my efforts. It helps me refocus my energy on something that gives me hope.

It is okay to take a break from asking and take some time to strategize. Hearing “No” doesn’t mean it is the end; it is simply a chance to try a different approach.

3. You might not get a response

There have been times when I have had to direct message recruiters and business owners. For a few, I got a response with immediate referrals that landed me the next opportunity, for others, I probably have been left on “read” since as far back as 2019 and that’s okay.

Yes, there are times when after sending the message, I’d wonder if I could have shortened it or used a different approach, but I have never regretted reaching out to anyone even when I didn’t get a response. What that tells me is that the person is probably not the one to help me achieve my goal in that season. Maybe in the future, but just not right now. Regardless, It is better to get an outright “No” or even silence than to hold back and keep wondering “What if..?”.

Although there is no guaranteed formula for getting positive responses from others, here are three factors that could potentially lead to a negative outcome.

1. Asking unprepared:There’s a difference between asking merely for the sake of it and asking when you’re fully equipped to handle the responsibilities that accompany your requests. Being prepared might mean enhancing your skills to meet the demands of a desired promotion or job, sacrificing leisure time for practice, completing online training, or even attending relevant events.
2. Wanting others to do the work for you:On some occasions, I’ve had to say No to some people who made certain requests to me without putting in the work themselves and expecting to be handed information, or professional templates on a platter. While seeking assistance can save you a tonne of time, it is also important to contribute your effort or show evidence of the work you have done.
3. Not having a good professional reputation:Having a bad reputation can affect the likelihood of receiving support when you ask. Your reputation is not only a reflection of your past behaviour and actions but also determines future opportunities, because it influences how others perceive your abilities and credibility.

Final Words

The end of Q1 for 2024 is near and perhaps at the start of the year, you outlined milestones you aimed to accomplish, some of which may involve engaging with specific individuals in your network. I encourage you to reach out to them today, over the weekend, or perhaps next week. Just don’t hesitate to ask, and don’t allow the fear of rejection to deter you from pursuing your goals.

Until Next Time,

Bukola Osuntuyi

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